If you have virtual sex with a virtual woman, who's not your significant other, is that virtually cheating?

Shaky Love Notes

My Dear Spicy Tuna Roll,

It's been awhile since I last waffed in the fresh scent of your womanhood. Far too long. Where have the days gone, when we used to fall asleep under the big oak tree in your backyard, waking up to the itchy feeling of ants crawling all over our warm flesh. I miss the way you used to play with your hair, the way you played with my hair, the way you walked, the way I walked, the way we walked together. I still have the pair of acid washed jeans you left at my place the last time I saw you. Occasionally I smell them to remind me of the bittersweet memories. Why won't you love me? Is it my fascination with your scent? I can change that. I really can.

Come back to me my sweet honeydew bubbletea. I will show you how much I've grown, how much I've learned, how much I've missed you. A world without you depresses the hell out of me. I swear to God it does.

Your Penisbutter Cup,
Shaky

Sad Sunday Songs

Sundays are always so gloomy, so I've decided to post gloomy song lyrics. Why? Because I like to spread malice and depression all over the world. Depression, the new drug in town. Pretty addictive isn't it?

Dubstar - Ghost

Riverside on Friday night
My friends remain
They say your name
But my guard has gone
Put a brave face on
And make a smile you could hear
But you're not here
I'll trace the whole world to find your ghost
But wherever I go I'm alone

There's no-one else
Still living by myself
Yes I'm eating well
I still cook for two you know
And the bathroom's clean
Windows let the sun shine in
My complexion's clear
But you're not here
An empty bedroom
A silent phone
Wherever I go I'm alone
Wherever I go I'm alone

A stranger's face, a different place
I see you everywhere
It's funny how time does nothing
and doesn't seem to care

But..
I'll trace the whole world to find your ghost
Who could understand me now that you're gone
I'll leave the bedroom
Unhook the phone
But wherever I go I'm alone
I'll trace the whole world to find your ghost
But wherever I go I'm alone

Oh the gods have shined upon me once again. I was reading through my FHM magazine today, which features Brooke Burke, and decided to go do a search for her Playboy photo shoot online. For anyone who's not "accustomed" to these types of "searches". Rarely do you ever find a site that has a celebrity's nude photo shoots available without some sort of price. It would seem though, that today, all the planets were aligned. My prayers have been answered.

And now, the unveiling! Spank me now, thank me later.

http://www.111brookeburke.com/site/index.htm

It's been awhile hasn't it? Inbetween applying for jobs, working on my contracts, the holidays, and trying to stop my anus from bleeding, I really don't know where all the time went. Up until a few nights ago I never really missed this blog. Sugah reminded me that it was good way to waste time, ramble, and that I had people who still wanted to read my drivel. I never thought people cared. Will wonders never cease.

The holidays were kind to me this year. I got almost everything I wanted for Christmas. Still waiting for my velour tracksuit but I suppose that can wait. Which reminds me, was watching Blind Date the other day and wondered if people really like doing the dinner & dancing type of romancing. That rhymed. I didn't mean it to. Regardless, my ideal date involves a pretty lady, a home cooked meal, a velour tracksuit, a game of scrabble/connect four, a rented movie, and some ky jelly. I'd probably greet her at the door wearing it. The velour suit, not the ky jelly. I'm at home, why shouldn't I be comfortable? It'd be awesome if she showed up in a velour tracksuit too. It'd show that we were on the same wavelength.

Oh velour tracksuit, I will have you yet!

So here I am. There you are. We all live in a giant bucket. I will try and keep everyone abreast of my life. Til then, enjoy this little cartoon. --> rejected